Home-Assistant-Configs/templates/speech/welcome_home.yaml

>
  {# Welcome Home #}
  {%- macro getReport() -%}
    <p>
      "Welcome home, "
        {% if is_state('person.tony_stork','home') and is_state('person.christina_stork','home') %}
          "Stork family. "
        {% elif is_state('person.tony_stork','home') %}
          "Tony. "
        {% elif is_state('person.christina_stork','home') %}
          "Tina. "
        {% else %}
          "Whoever you are, Tony must have broken me again. "
        {% endif %}
        {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 %}
          "I hope you're having a great morning! "
        {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
          "I hope your afternoon has been a good one! "
        {% else %}
          "and good evening. I hope you had a good day! "
        {% endif %}
      "It is currently {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}."
    </p>

    <p>
      {% set endbefore = state_attr('input_datetime.kallen_school_day_end','timestamp') - 3600 %}
      {% set endafter = state_attr('input_datetime.kallen_school_day_end','timestamp') + 3600 %}
      {% set current = ((now().hour * 60 + now().minute) * 60 ) %}
      {% if is_state('person.kallen_stork','home') and is_state('input_boolean.kallen_school_today_extended','on') and current > endbefore and current < endafter %}
        "Welcome home Collin as well, "
        {{ [
        'I hope you had a great day at school! ',
        'I hope school was as boring, uh I mean exciting as ever! ',
        'Hopefully your day at school was educational and fun! ',
        'Do not forget to do your homework! ',
        'You must be glad that your school day is over! '
        ] | random }}
        {% if is_state('input_boolean.kallen_band_practice','on') %}
          {{ [
          'I hope you also enjoyed band practice this morning! ',
          'I hope the trombone treated you well this morning! ',
          'Band geeks are the best geeks! ',
          'You did not achieve eighth position this morning, did you? ',
          ] | random }}
        {% endif %}
      {% elif is_state('input_boolean.school_cancelled','on') and is_state('person.kallen_stork','home') %}
        "I hope you are enjoying your free day off from school, Collin. "
      {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tony_s_birthday','0') %}
        Happy Birthday Tony!
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tina_s_birthday','0') %}
        Happy Birthday Tina!
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_kallen_s_birthday','0') %}
        Happy Birthday Collin!
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_emmalynn_s_birthday','0') %}
        Happy Birthday Emmalynn!
      {% endif %}
    </p>
    <p>
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.tornado_alarm','on') %}
        "We are under a tornado warning. If you are not already in shelter, you should be. Get on it! "
      {% elif is_state('input_boolean.tornado_watch','on') %}
        {{ [
          "There is currently a tornado watch active. Please keep an eye on the sky and your local weather reports. ",
          "We are currently under a tornado watch. This means the possibility exists for a tornado to form. Be prepared, and be safe! ",
          "The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch for our area. Be prepared to take shelter if a warning is issued! ",
        ] | random }}
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.lightning_warning','on') %}
        {% set ltgdist = (states('sensor.blitzortung_lightning_distance') | int) / 1.609 | round %}
        {{ [
          "There are reports of lightning in the area, please stay safe. ",
          "My sensors detect the presence of lightning nearby, so you should prepare to take shelter if needed. ",
          "A little birdy told me there is lightning nearby. His feathers were all sticking up, I have no idea why. ",
          "Please exercise caution, as there is lightning in the area. ",
          "That flashing in the sky is not interstellar warfare, it is simply lightning. But you should still be careful outside. ",
        ] | random }}
        "The nearest lightning strike is {{ ltgdist }} miles away. "
      {% endif %}
      {% if states('sensor.weatheralerts_active_alerts') > '0' %}
        "Currently there are weather alerts active. The total number of alerts is {{ states('sensor.weather_alerts_active_corrected') }}. They are as follows. "
          {{ states('sensor.weather_alert_string') }}.
      {% endif %}
      {% if (states('sensor.kdfi_visibility') | int ) < 3 %}
        "In case you are planning to go back out, "
        {{ [
          "It is foggy outside, please exercise caution when driving. ",
          "The visibility outside is quite low. If you will be driving soon, please be cautious. ",
          "It is pea soup outside right now, and that is just as awful to drive in as it is to eat. Be careful! ",
          "Look out the window. Do you notice that you cannot see anything? Bear that in mind if you intend to drive any time soon. ",
          "Be advised, it is very difficult to see outside right now. Drive safely. "
        ] | random }}
      {% endif %}
    </p>

    <p>
      {% if (states('sensor.climate_devices_installed') | int) > 0 %}
        "The current climate control situation is as follows. "
          {% if is_state('input_boolean.master_bedroom_aircon_installed','on') %}
            "the master bedroom temperature is currently {{ state_attr('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','current_temperature') }} degrees. "
              {% if is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','cool') %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is currently set for cooling to {{ state_attr('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','temperature') }} degrees. "
              {% elif is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','fan_only') %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is currently in fan only mode. "
              {% elif is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','dry') %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is currently moonlighting as a dehumidifier. "
              {% elif is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','off') %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is currently not running. "
              {% elif is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','auto') %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is making its own decisions. Be afraid, be very afraid. "
              {% else %}
                "and the master bedroom air conditioner is currently not speaking to me. Was it something I said? "
              {% endif %}
          {% else %}
            "There is no air conditioner or temperature sensor currently installed in the master bedroom. "
          {% endif %}
        {% endif %}
    </p>

    <p>
      {% if is_state('light.living_room_lights','on') %}
        {% if is_state('binary_sensor.early_night_mode','on') %}
          "Because it is getting dark, I have turned on some lights for your convenience. "
        {% else %}
          "Due to less than optimal sunlight, I have turned on some lights for your convenience. "
        {% endif %}
      {% endif %}
    </p>

    <p>
      {% set tina = states.person.christina_stork.state %}
      {% if tina in ['Bob Evans','BobEvans'] and is_state('input_boolean.work_today','on') %}
        "Tina is at work right now. She will be done at approximately {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.tina_workday_end','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}. "
      {% elif is_state('input_boolean.work_today','on') %}
        "Tina has work today. "
      {% endif %}
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.kallen_at_school','on') %}
        "Kallen is at school right now. His pickup time will be at {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.kallen_school_day_end','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}. "
      {% elif is_state('input_boolean.kallen_school_today','on') %}
        "Kallen has school today. "
      {% endif %}
    </p>

    <p>
      Here is a random dad joke <break time="1s"/> {{ states('sensor.random_joke') }}
    </p>

    <p>
      {% if is_state('input_boolean.briefing_extras','on') %}
        "And now we have the following extra information to pass along. {{ states('input_text.briefing_extras') }} "
      {% endif %}
    </p>

  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text  #}
    {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
      {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
        {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
    {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
      {{ getReport() }}
    {%- endmacro -%}
    
    {# Call the macro  #}
    {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}