270 lines
11 KiB
YAML
270 lines
11 KiB
YAML
>
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{# Daily Briefing #}
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{% from 'formatting.jinja' import cleanup %}
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{%- macro getReport() -%}
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{% from 'speech.jinja' import greeting, dadjoke, inspirational_quote, today_is %}
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{% from 'status.jinja' import houseStatusReport, tonyStatusReport, tinaStatusReport, kallenStatusReport, emmaStatusReport %}
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{% from 'easy_time.jinja' import count_the_days %}
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{% from 'weather.jinja' import weatherReport %}
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{% from 'sports.jinja' import sports_updates %}
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<p>
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{{ greeting('date') }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ today_is() }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ weatherReport('full','tts','day') }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('sun.sun','below_horizon') %}
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You have
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{% set seconds = as_timestamp(states.sun.sun.attributes.next_rising)-now().timestamp() %}
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{% set hours = seconds / 60 %}
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{% if seconds / ( 60 * 60 ) > 1 %}
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{{ (seconds // ( 60 * 60 )) | int }} hours
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{% else %}
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{{ (seconds // 60) | int }} minutes
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{% endif %}
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{{ [
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'until the sun rises.',
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'until the sun is up',
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'before the sun officially rises.'
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] | random }}
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{% else %}
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You have
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{% set seconds = as_timestamp(states.sun.sun.attributes.next_setting)-now().timestamp() %}
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{% set hours = seconds / 60 %}
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{% if seconds / ( 60 * 60 ) > 1 %}
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{{ (seconds // ( 60 * 60 )) | int }} hours
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{% else %}
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{{ (seconds // 60) | int }} minutes
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{% endif %}
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{{ [
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'until the sun sets for the day.',
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'until the sun slips below the horizon.',
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'before the sun officially sets. '
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]|random }}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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{% set dow = as_timestamp(now()) | timestamp_custom('%A') %}
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<p>
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{{ [
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"On today's agenda, we have the following. ",
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"Today's announcements include the following. ",
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"Given that you are well into your day, here is a bit of helpful information. ",
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"You are past the point of no return and must finish your day, so I am here to help you out. ",
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"The developer has informed me that I must inform you of the following informational information. ",
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"My introduction lines are getting stale as hell. Any new ideas, anyone? ",
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] | random }}
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{% if is_state('binary_sensor.evening','on') %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tony_s_birthday','0') %}
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Hope you had a happy birthday Tony!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tina_s_birthday','0') %}
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Hope you had a happy birthday Tina!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_kallen_s_birthday','0') %}
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Hope you had a happy birthday Collin!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_emmalynn_s_birthday','0') %}
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Hope you had a happy birthday Emmalynn!
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{% endif %}
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{% if states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state | int == 1 %}
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Tomorrow is Halloween. I hope you have picked out a costume. I will be going as Tony. I am scared just thinking about it!
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{% elif states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state | int < 30 %}
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There are only {{states.sensor.halloween_countdown.state}} days
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{{ [ 'until Halloween.',
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'until Halloween. It might not be enough time.',
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'until you need a costume.'
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] | random }}
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{% endif %}
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{% if states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state | int == 1 %}
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Tomorrow is Christmas. <break time="1s"/> It is practically here! <break time="1s"/> Santa is coming tonight! Do not forget the cookies!
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{% elif states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state | int < 31 %}
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There are only {{states.sensor.christmas_countdown.state}} days until Christmas.
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{{ [ 'All I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamus.',
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'Hey Collin, I know what you are getting for Christmas. But I am not telling.',
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'Do not forget to put something under the tree for your favorite <say-as interpret-as="characters">AI</say-as> this year!',
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'It is starting to smell a lot like Christmas. Or it could be that the christmas tree is on fire.',
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'I do not want to be a smarthome. I want to be a dentist.',
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'Do not eat all the cookies.',
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'All I want for Christmas is for Mariah Carey to get off my radio.'
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] | random }}
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{% endif %}
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{% if states.sensor.anniversary_wedding_anniversary.state | int == 1 %}
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Tomorrow is Tony and Christina's wedding anniversary!
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{% endif %}
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{{ tinaStatusReport('work','tts') }}
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{% else %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.halloween_countdown','0') %}
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Happy Halloween!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.christmas_countdown','0') %}
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Merry Christmas!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_wedding_anniversary','0') %}
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Happy Anniversary! It has been an amazing {{ states.sensor.anniversary_wedding_anniversary.attributes.years }} years!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tony_s_birthday','0') %}
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Happy Birthday Tony!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_tina_s_birthday','0') %}
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Happy Birthday Tina!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_kallen_s_birthday','0') %}
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Happy Birthday Collin!
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_emmalynn_s_birthday','0') %}
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Happy Birthday Emmalynn!
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{% endif %}
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{%- set event=states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message %}
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{% if 'Day' in event and 'National' in event%}
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{{ [
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'Today is also known as ',
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'Today we are also celebrating'
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]|random }}
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{{states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message | replace("&"," and ") }}.
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{% if 'Chocolate' in event %}
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{{ [
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'Oh. You had me at Chocolate. I like Chocolate.',
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'And I like chocolate. This sounds fun. More Chocolate please!'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Pi' in event or 'Pie' in event%}
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{{ [
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'We should make a pie. And by we I mean someone with actual arms. ',
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'Wait.<break time="1s"/>Did that just say pie? We need a Pie to celebrate.'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Cookie' in event %}
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{{ [
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'<break time="1s"/>And Yes. You heard that right. Today we are making cookies.',
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'I will put butter on the shopping list. For later. ',
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'So that means we should make cookies.'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Pizza' in event %}
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{{ [
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'I think that means we should have pizza today. and by we I mean those of us with a mouth.',
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'So who is going to make the pizza?',
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'Everyone knows Pepperoni Pizza is the best. am I right?'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Cake' in event %}
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{{ [
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'I have just added baking a cake to your calendar. And set your availability to busy.',
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'Quick. Someone check to see if we have powdered sugar for frosting.',
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'So that means we should bake a cake. And frost it. But not like that time in that movie. '
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Fools' in event %}
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{{ [
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'Which reminds me. The front porch camera caught a Tee Rex last night. <break time="1s"/> April Fools!',
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'Which reminds me. I won the lottery and I am moving out to go live with Siri. <break time="1s"/> April Fools!',
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'Which reminds me. there was a time change last night. We have jumped 15 years into the future. Great Scott! <break time="1s"/> April Fools!'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Creme Brulee' in event %}
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{{ [
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'Someday I hope to make the perfect creme brulee.'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Games' in event %}
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{{ [
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'Does anyone want to play Thermal nuclear war with me?<break time="1s"/>No? How about a nice game of chess?'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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{% if 'Haiku' in event %}
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I know a Haiku. This one is called,
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{{ [
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'Good Morning From the Cat. <break time="1s"/>In the morning light, You sleep despite my meow, I stand on your face.',
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'Tee Rex Hug. <break time="1s"/> The Tee Rex likes you, But he cant give you a hug, His arms are too short.',
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'It Fits. <break time="1s"/> It Fits perfectly, because every box is the, Right size for a cat.',
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'Minecraft Creepers. <break time="1s"/> Creepers are so cruel, I hear a hiss from behind, Bam! There goes my stuff.'
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]|random }}
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{%- endif -%}
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<break time="2s"/>
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{% else %}
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{% if 'Birthday' in event %}
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{{ [
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'Today is a special birthday. We are celebrating '
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]|random }}
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{{states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message | replace("&"," and ") }}.
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{%- endif -%}
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{%- endif -%}
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{{ tinaStatusReport('work','tts') }}
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{{ tonyStatusReport('stream','tts') }}
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{{ kallenStatusReport('school','tts') }}
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{{ emmaStatusReport('sleep','tts') }}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ houseStatusReport('full','tts') }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if state_attr('calendar.garbage_collection','start_time') != none %}
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{% if count_the_days('calendar.garbage_collection','start_time') | int == 1 %}
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{% if state_attr('calendar.garbage_collection','message') == 'Large Garbage Pickup' %}
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Tomorrow is the monthly unlimited garbage pickup. Make sure to take out all regular trash, as well as any larger items that need to be disposed of.
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{% else %}
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Tomorrow is regular garbage pickup. Make sure that all trash cans are emptied and the outside bin has been wheeled to the curb.
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{% endif %}
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{% elif is_state('calendar.garbage_collection','on') %}
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Today is garbage day. Please make sure to wheel the garbage bin back to the house.
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{% endif %}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.sports_updates','on') %}
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{{ sports_updates('pregame') }}
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{{ sports_updates('main') }}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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{{ dadjoke() }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.briefing_extras','on') %}
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"And now we have the following extra information to pass along. {{ states('input_text.briefing_extras') }} "
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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<p>
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And now, one more thing before I go. {{ inspirational_quote() }}
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</p>
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{%- endmacro -%}
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{{- cleanup(getReport()) -}} |