Home-Assistant-Configs/templates/speech/morning_briefing.yaml

>
  {# Morning Report #}
  {%- macro getReport() -%}
    <p>
      {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int > 6 %}
        Good morning.
      {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int >= 12 and now().strftime('%H')|int < 17 %}
        Good afternoon.
      {% else %}
        Good evening.
      {% endif %}
      </p>
      <p>
      {% if now().strftime('%H')|int < 12 %}
        {% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
          It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} AM.
        {% else %}
          It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} AM.
        {% endif %}

      {% elif now().strftime('%H')|int > 12 %}
        {% if now().strftime('%M')|int == 0 %}
          It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} PM.
        {% else %}
          It is {{ now().strftime('%H')|int }} {{ now().strftime('%M')|int }} PM.
        {% endif %}
      
      {% else %}

      {% endif %}
      </p>
      <p>
      {{ [
          'Today is ',
          'If you have not been keeping track today is ',
          'Do you know what day of the week it is? Today is',
          'I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but today is '
      ]|random }}
      {{states.sensor.today_is.state }}.
      </p>
      <p>
        It is currently {{states.weather.iron_nerd_weather_station.state}} and {{states.sensor.pirateweather_temperature.state|round}} degrees in Defiance. 
      </p>
      <p>
        {% if states.sensor.weatheralerts_active_alerts.state | int > 0 %}
          There are currently {{states.sensor.weatheralerts_active_alerts.state }} active weather alerts for our area.
        {% endif %}
      </p>
      <p>
        {{ [
            'The rest of the day should be,',
            'Todays forecast should be ,'
        ]|random }}
          {{ states.sensor.current_forecast.state }} 
        </p>
        <p>
        {% if is_state('sensor.halloween_countdown','0') %}
          Happy Halloween!
        {% endif %}
        {% if is_state('sensor.christmas_countdown','0') %}
          Merry Christmas Everyone!
        {% endif %}
        {% if is_state('sensor.anniversary_wedding_anniversary','0') %}
          Happy Anniversary! It been an amazing {{ states.sensor.anniversary_wedding_anniversary.attributes.years }} years!
        {% endif %}
        {% if is_state('calendar.holidays_in_united_states', 'on') %}
          Today is {{states.calendar.holidays_in_united_states.attributes.message}}. 
        {% endif %}
        {% if states.calendar.birthdays.state == 'on' %}
          Today is {{ states.calendar.birthdays.attributes.message }}! So Happy Birthday! The confetti cannon is not working otherwise I would shower you in paper garbage that someone else would have to pick up.
        {% endif %}
        {%- set event=states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message %}
        {% if 'Day' in event and 'National' in event%}
          {{ [
            'And a very special Happy ',
            'It is also ',
            'Today is also known as ',
            'Oh <emphasis>Look</emphasis>. Today is ',
            'Want to know a fact? Today is ',
            'Everyday can be a holiday. So today is '
        ]|random }}
        {{states.calendar.national_holidays.attributes.message | replace("&"," and ") }}.
        {%- endif -%}
        </p>
        <p>
          {% if now().strftime('%Y-%m-%d') == states.input_datetime.school_last_day.state %}
            Congratulations, today is the last day of school! Have an awesome day!
          {% endif %}
        </p>
        <p>

          {% if is_state('input_boolean.school_today','on') and is_state('input_boolean.work_today','on') %}
            {%- if states.sensor.home_to_school.state|round > 12 %}
              Traffic to the school appears heavier than normnal.
            {% else %}
              Traffic to the school is normal.
            {% endif %}
            Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_school.state|round}} minutes to get to the school.
            {%- if states.sensor.school_to_bob_evans.state|round > 15 %}
              Traffic from the school to Bob Evans appears heavier than normnal.
            {% else %}
              Traffic from the school to Bob Evans is normal.
            {% endif %}
            Currently it will take {{states.sensor.school_to_bob_evans.state|round}} minutes to get to Bob Evans from the school.
          {% elif is_state('input_boolean.work_today','on') %}
            {%- if states.sensor.home_to_bob_evans.state|round > 8 %}
              Traffic to Bob Evans appears heavier than normnal.
            {% else %}
              Traffic to Bob Evans is normal.
            {% endif %}
            Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_bob_evans.state|round}} minutes to get to Bob Evans.
          {% elif is_state('input_boolean.school_today','on') %}
            {%- if states.sensor.home_to_school.state|round > 12 %}
              Traffic to the school appears heavier than normnal.
            {% else %}
              Traffic to the school is normal.
            {% endif %}
            Currently it will take {{states.sensor.home_to_school.state|round}} minutes to get to the school.
          {% else %}
            It appears no traffic reports are needed today. Enjoy your day off!
          {% endif %}


      </p>
  {%- endmacro -%}


  {# a macro that removes all newline characters, empty spaces, and returns formatted text  #}
    {%- macro cleanup(data) -%}
      {%- for item in data.split("\n")  if item | trim != "" -%}
        {{ item | trim }} {% endfor -%}
  {%- endmacro -%}

  {# a macro to call all macros :)  #}
    {%- macro mother_of_all_macros() -%}
      {{ getReport() }}
    {%- endmacro -%}
    
    {# Call the macro  #}
    {{- cleanup(mother_of_all_macros()) -}}