Add more randomness to TTS briefings
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@ -2,12 +2,25 @@
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{# Nightly Briefing #}
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{%- macro getReport() -%}
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<p>
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"Good evening. It is {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}. As the day reaches its end, here are a few items to wrap things up. "
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"Good evening. It is {{ now().strftime("%I:%M %p") }}. "
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{{ [
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"Before the day comes to a close, here are my thoughts. Just kidding, I am a computer, I do not think. ",
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"The day grows short, let us gather around the campfire for an epic tale of things to come. ",
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"I am tired after a long day of doing absolutely nothing, but I am still here to give you the latest and greatest uselessness! ",
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"My programmer decided that I should say something interesting here, and then he realized that he is not interesting. ",
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] | random }}
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</p>
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<p>
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.tony_streaming_today','on') %}
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"Tony will be streaming tonight. The studio is scheduled to go online at {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.tony_streaming_start_time','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}. "
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{{ [
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"Tony will be streaming tonight. ",
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"Tony will be pretending to be a real content creator tonight. ",
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"Tony will be doing his best to defeat his impostor syndrome tonight. ",
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"Tony will be playing video games and yelling into a microphone tonight. ",
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"Tony will be scraping out the nickels and dimes tonight for the sake of entertainment. ",
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"Tony is not really all that funny, but tonight he will present himself to a crowd of questionable individuals who seem to think that he is. "
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] | random }} The studio is scheduled to go online at {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.tony_streaming_start_time','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}. "
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.kallen_school_tomorrow','on') %}
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{% if is_state('sensor.kallen_band_tomorrow','on') %}
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@ -22,11 +35,28 @@
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{% set tmrw = (as_timestamp(states('sensor.date')) + 86400) | int %}
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{% set diff = (start - tmrw) %}
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.work_today','on') %}
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"Tina is still at work right now, she will be done at approximately {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.tina_workday_end','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}. "
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{{ [
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"Tina is still at work right now, ",
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"Tina has not yet been released from work, ",
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"Tina is still at the thankless idiot scape known as work, ",
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"Tina is still consumed by the gods of capitalism, ",
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] | random }} she will be done at approximately {{ (state_attr('input_datetime.tina_workday_end','timestamp') | int | timestamp_custom('%I:%M %p', False)) }}.
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{% elif is_state('binary_sensor.tina_work_tomorrow','on') %}
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"Tina has work tomorrow at {{ diff | timestamp_custom('%H:%M %p',false) }}. "
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{{ [
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"Tina must go and please the food gods tomorrow ",
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"Tomorrow, Tina must go and entertain the gremlins known as her customers and coworkers ",
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"Tomorrow, Tina will be owned by our lovely lord and savior, capitalism, ",
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] | random }} at {{ diff | timestamp_custom('%H:%M %p',false) }}. "
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{% else %}
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"Tina appears to have tomorrow off. "
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{{ [
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"Tina seems to have been granted a reprieve from her endless torture tomorrow. ",
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"The powers that be have decided that Tina deserves a break from work tomorrow. ",
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"Tina has been granted time off from the hellscape of work tomorrow. ",
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"Tina will not be attending the gathering of tormented souls known as work tomorrow. ",
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"The scheduling gods have decided that Tina's services will not be required tomorrow. "
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"Tina gets a break tomorrow from grinding it out for the gods of capitalism. ",
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"Tina will not be at the thankless idiot scape known as work tomorrow. ",
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] | random }}
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{% endif %}
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</p>
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@ -392,7 +422,11 @@
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</p>
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<p>
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"Bedroom climate scheduling will be as follows. "
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{{ [
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"Tonight in master bedroom climate news, ",
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"In the master bedroom, we have the following schedule to share. ",
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"Bedroom climate scheduling will be as follows. ",
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] | random }}
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.master_bedroom_aircon_installed','on') %}
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{% if is_state('climate.master_bedroom_aircon','fan_only') %}
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"The master bedroom air conditioner is already running in fan only mode. "
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@ -416,6 +450,10 @@
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"The master bedroom fan will remain inactive tonight. "
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{% endif %}
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{% if is_state('input_boolean.kallen_overnight','off') %}
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{{ [
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"Meanwhile, in Collin's room, ",
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"For Collin's climate schedule, we have the following. "
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] | random }}
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{% if is_state('fan.kallen_bedroom_fan','on') %}
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"Collin's fan is already running. "
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{% elif is_state('input_boolean.white_noise_kallen_bedroom','on') %}
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@ -430,6 +468,11 @@
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{% else %}
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"Collin's room will be left alone, as he is spending the night elsewhere tonight. "
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{% endif %}
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{{ [
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"Finally, in Emma's bedroom, ",
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"In Emma's bedroom, ",
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"For Emma's climate scheduling, "
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] | random }}
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{% if is_state('fan.emma_air_conditioner','on') %}
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"Emma's air conditioner is already running. "
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{% elif is_state('input_boolean.white_noise_emma_bedroom','on') %}
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@ -468,7 +511,12 @@
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</p>
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<p>
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"For some useless trivia that no one asked for, I present to you the following: "
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{{ [
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"For some useless trivia that no one asked for, I present to you the following: ",
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"Since the developer who writes my scripts decided that this was somehow interesting, ",
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"In case you had a burning desire to know, ",
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"Since I know everyone lays awake at night wondering the answer to this question, ",
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] | random }}
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{% if (states('sensor.front_door_opened_today') | int) > 0 %}
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"Today, the front door was opened {{ states('sensor.front_door_opened_today') }} times. "
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{% else %}
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@ -484,7 +532,11 @@
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</p>
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<p>
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Here is a random dad joke <break time="1s"/> {{ states('sensor.random_joke') }}
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{{ [
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"Here is a random dad joke ",
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"In case you hadn't had enough idiotic humor today, here is a little more ",
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"For further proof that the developer responsible for my existence is an idiot, I present the following joke ",
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] | random }}<break time="1s"/> {{ states('sensor.random_joke') }}
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</p>
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<p>
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